IT'S ALL HGTV'S FAULT!

I have been steaming for quite a while about HGTV’s level of guilt in creating and purposely increasing the economic crisis.

So, you think: “What a lousy thing to say about such a benign schedule of programming. After all, there’s little or no cursing or swearing. And they are so interested in introducing us to happy, colorful, idyllic life-styles.”

Yeah? Hey. Let’s get right to the point:

THEY BRAIN WASH MILLIONS OF PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING THAT MOST LIVING SPACES ARE BORING, RIDICULOUS, PIG STYES.

Can I get an Amen here? Not yet? Sure, I’ll just continue along.

Take, for example, House Hunters. They scream ‘Location, location, location.’ They also make sure to mention how wonderful the property will look once the potential homeowner considers the changes that will be absolutely necessary to ‘put their own mark’ on any property shown.

“Put their own mark.” I love that little excuse for ripping out perfectly good cabinets, countertops and appliances. And I love it when they can’t keep their mouths shut about landscaping and rescuing other spaces from utterly offensive color and décor.

The real kicker with the change-‘em-up people is that the initial introduction to the potential buyers very frequently points out that their current living conditions are ugly, dirty, cluttered hovels of humanity.

You know the drill. TV celebrityship immediately turns said couple into responsible, haute couture connoisseurs of all things wise and wonderful. They also become quick learners of how to turn potential living space into party central.

The realtors, designers, and programmers want all of us to buy, buy, and keep buying. Location, renovation and happy times must be uppermost in selecting a life style. They are experts in teaching us how to do it. They are killing us with overblown expectations. Thus, we buy houses that are beyond our means, and renovate to the point of bankruptcy.

Oh, and we are required to entertain...often. And we must cook and buy fancy foods, drinks, and smarty-style clothes. After all, we are now homeowners, approved and certified to reside in an HGTV episode. Don’t we look happy?

All this is done in the name of viewership. But we now know that people believed, with all their hearts, in whatever HGTV was pushing. Sadly, foreclosures and loss of jobs are taking it all away.

Not to be dismayed, HGTV is pushing foreclosures and preying on human greed. “Make an offer. Sure, low-ball it, and let’s see what the counter offer is. It’s a lovely property, but it could use a little updating. Those appliances are about three years old, and the lighting fixtures could use an upgrade. They should knock a little off for a few nicks here and there.”

Do you get it yet?

People had a hard time, in the first place, affording the stupid property. They figured they could squeak out the payments and still have enough credit to do the renovations. That bit of sweat and tears would make them look like savvy sophisticates.

Then the every-day living costs arrived in big and little envelopes. Then a little child or pet needed medical attention. Then a job was eliminated or hours were cut. Then they absolutely had to have a car(s) to keep up with the neighborhood and that became a frivolous burden. Then the entertaining came to a standstill. And, further, the fancy kitchen became completely unnecessary, along with the deck and outdoor kitchen fiasco.

Still don’t get it?

Okay. HGTV is directly responsible for mesmerizing the public into buying and doing things they could not afford. HGTV is still contributing to economic collapse.

People can’t buy. People can’t sell. People can’t renovate, and people can’t fix properly. Real estate is in the gutter, and even home improvement activity is a tough sell.

What is the solution?

Oh, come on. Do you really think I know the answer? I’d like to figure out a way to sue HGTV for depraved economic indifference, or any legally challenging reason.

Ain’t gonna happen, folks! We are stuck. That is the truth. And HGTV could care less. But, the next time you hear “It’s a little over our budget, and it’s a little farther from work than we’d like, but it’s so good for the kids and entertaining, that we just have to have it and put our own mark on it,” please change the channel.

One more observation: When you hear ‘we want to put our own mark on it’, just think of a dog or cat, or other animal. When an animal puts his or her own mark on it, it usually means someone has a mess to clean up or step into.

Do we get it, now?

Comments

[Janine King]

I'm in complete agreement with this great post!