HOLIDAY SURVIVAL TIPS

 HOLIDAY SURVIVAL TIPS FOR THE SHOPPING-IMPAIRED

I have never been one to look forward to a shopping trip, and for that, my husband is thrilled.  I constantly remind him of all the money I save him.  He smiles and nods and tells me that I have superior self-control.

What a crock!  Oh, sure, I am not considered a MALL RAT, but I do my share of contributing to the local and national economy.

While many women view shopping (any kind of shopping) as a form of recreation, my views lean more towards shopping being heavy labor.  It’s hard work.  Really, it is!  So, I procrastinate and wait until I can wait no more.  Then look out.  I turn into General Patton and launch a major invasion.

See, it’s not that I don’t buy things.  It’s just that I buy things all at once.  That’s why my husband smiles and nods.  He knows, full well, that the checks will be written, and the credit card bills will appear.  He just doesn’t know when!  AH...THE SUSPENSE!!  It keeps him on his toes, ladies. 

Oh yes, much has been written about keeping the excitement in your marriage.  Let’s just say: The experts have their opinions...and...I have my own opinions. 

I know I am one of many who can be diagnosed as shopping-impaired.  I wish I could be rehabilitated, but it’s hopeless.  So, each holiday season requires a major invasion.  Perhaps the following SURVIVAL TIPS will help you as much as they have helped me.

#1           MAKE SURE YOUR CAR HAS A FULL TANK OF GAS: You will be on a mission of great importance.  Don’t let an empty tank snafu you.

#2           TAKE TWO ASPIRIN...AND POCKET SOME MAALOX BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE: Holiday shopping is guaranteed to give you a headache and tear-up your stomach.  Just accept this little fact of life.

#3           WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES & CLOTHING, WITH POCKETS:  It is better to have a handy pocket than to look sleek and glamorous.  How many of the people you will meet will ever see you again?  Remember...your mission is to shop...not find a date or meet your next ex-husband.

 #4          DO NOT DECK YOURSELF WITH  EXPENSIVE, TEMPTING JEWELRY:  You are not a Christmas Tree...just a holiday shopper.  Your jewelry may be an irresistible bargain for some thieving individual on a twisted holiday shopping spree. 

#5           ANYBODY GOT A HAT PIN???  When a woman is confronted with danger, she can act or be frozen by terror. There are things on the market, today, to help defuse a bad situation, and law enforcement has condoned the use of many.  Naturally, packing a gun is not a hot idea, but there are pepper sprays, whistles and alarms.  Self-defense and Karate courses are great; and a good healthy scream is a proven attention-getter that has served us well for many decades.  There is another little deterrent that might be considered old-fashioned, but was my constant companion every time I ventured to New York City.  This was many years ago, and most of us had several LONG, SHARP HAT PINS.  Women still wore hats in those days, and these stilettos anchored the hats to our hair and looked decorative.  Going to The City, for whatever reason, could be worrisome, especially on the subways.  A HAT PIN, worn in a hat or stuck somewhere on your outside clothing, was excellent protection.  What did we know, back then, about pepper sprays, Karate, etc.?!  Law enforcement probably does not approve of the use of HAT PINS.  I just wanted to let you know that HAT PINS were used...and that they did work.

#6           LEAVE THAT DAMNABLE PURSE AT HOME:  You won’t need the lipstick or your hair-brush (see #3). You also won’t need to lug around a large wallet, checkbook, pen, or the seldom-used junk that inhabits your purse.  You will need some cash (it’s always a smart back-up to credit or debit cards), your driver’s license, insurance card, AAA card (for ID and emergencies), your most versatile credit card, and some personal checks.  All of the necessary items are flat and can be easily compressed to slip into one or more of those pockets previously mentioned (see #3). Snug-fitting JEANS offer the best pocket protection.  If you have trouble getting out the money, credit card and checks, so will the potential pickpocket.  A small slip of paper is all you will need to record information for transference to your check register when you get home.  Your friendly sales clerk will be happy to let you borrow a pen.

I'll admit. I felt a little lopsided the first time I used the above tactics to do my holiday shopping.  We are so used to dragging a purse everywhere we go, that its absence may temporarily throw-off our balance.  The imbalance, however, is quickly corrected by the packages you collect; and the absence of a purse makes handling your purchases much easier.  Crowded malls and busy shoppers are a purse snatcher’s delight.  So the best way to foil these evil felons is to give your purse a much-deserved rest.  Minimal jewelry, pharmaceutical aids, and sufficient fuel for your car are other important measures for safety and peace-of-mind.

I tend to joke a lot, but I’m not kidding this time.  BEING CAREFUL, AWARE, AND PREPARED IS THE SMARTEST THING YOU WILL EVER DO!

Here is a recipe for a traditional Italian Christmas Treat.  It is sticky, gooey, addictive and finger-licking delicious.

                         STRUFOLI/PIGNOLATA

                         3 cups  FLOUR

                         1 1/2 tsp.  BAKING POWDER

                         1 tbsp.  VEGETABLE OIL(dough)

                         6  EGGS

                         3 tbsp. SUGAR

                         1 large jar  HONEY

                         qty. req.  OIL (for deep-fat frying)

Sift FLOUR and BAKING POWDER and put into a shallow bowl.  Make a well in the center.  Put OIL, EGGS, & SUGAR into well and combine, using your hands, as if you were making noodles.  When the dough is combined, place on a floured board and knead thoroughly.  Test by cutting with a knife.  If you see little holes in the dough, it is ready.

Next, take a small amount of dough and roll-out like pie crust (not too thin or too thick).  Cut dough into strips approx. 3/8” wide, then cut strips into little squares.  Set loosely aside.  Continue making squares until all the dough is used.  Sprinkle the squares with flour to prevent sticking. 

Put required amount of oil into deep-fat fryer.  When oil is VERY HOT, start frying the squares (a little at a time) until golden brown. Strain thoroughly and continue until all the squares are fried and strained. 

In a skillet, melt HONEY (a little at a time).  Add as many of the squares as the HONEY will cover and stir until coated.  Remove with slotted spoon and pile on a pretty dish.  You will be making a conical shaped mound.  As each batch is added to the mound, sprinkle with colored confetti sugar.  When the cone-shaped mound is completed, it will resemble a Christmas Tree.  You may include grated orange peel, chopped nuts, etc. in the melted honey, if desired.

This treat is generally placed in the center of the table for busy little fingers to pluck apart and enjoy.  Since you will be surrounded by family and good friends, there is no need to worry about etiquette.  Go ahead--lick your fingers-- laugh--and be a kid again.

NOTE:  If you have a pasta-making machine, you can roll-out the dough in the machine, and then cut the strips and squares.

Comments

[Lulu]

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[Burberry designer sandals]

-Burberry designer sandals Minimal jewelry, pharmaceutical aids, and sufficient fuel for your car are other important measures for safety and peace-of-mind.